If you came to my house and saw the basket in the corner of my living room, you would wonder if I have a small toddler living with me (no, I don’t)(thank goodness). The basket is mounded with toys because, of course, every time I pick up dog food or Janie gets kidnapped and tortured groomed, well, she needs a new toy.
And let me tell you, she knows when I have a toy in my bags when I walk in. I can go to Target to get paper towels and walk out with paper towels and 5 million other things, including one teeny tiny dog toy. When I get home she cavorts around the kitchen island like I’ve brought her a Porterhouse steak. This madness continues until I cave decide she deserves a treat and give it to her.
By the by, do me a favor and don’t tell Neal how much dog toys cost. The way that man does math in his head? Shooooot. He could sit in his chair, look at that basket, and multiply the 50ish toys by $15 $10 $5 2/$1 in about a nanosecond. And I would be in t-r-o-u-b-l-e.
Ahem…
Similar to how babies prefer the wrapping paper to whatever is in the box, Janie’s most favorite thing, believe it or not, is not a dog toy. No sirree. If you walk into my house with a drink in a plastic bottle, she will stick to you like gorilla glue. She will whine and beg and look cute and bat her big browns at you until you finally finish whatever’s in the bottle and give it to her.
And then…
PUPPY BLITZ!!!! She grabs it by the top, goes tearing away from you (lest you decide you want it back), tornado twirls around the house, pings the bottle against the walls like a hockey puck, flips it and chews on it and makes a truly impressive amount of noise. After awhile, she simmers down and ferries it off to her exclusive Play Palace (the rug at the front door). She growls at it and has long, meaningful discussions with it in Janie-talk.
When she’s chewed it and drooled on it and mangled it to her satisfaction, the bottle is a flattish, bumpy, plastic mass and she is Worn. Out. All in all, pretty good ROI. (that’s return on investment for you non-biz people)
I mean, look at that picture! She is drunk-in-love with that bottle.
So, next time you need some room in your recycling bin, bring your empty drink bottles over to Janie and she will kindly smush them for you!
Lynn Padgett Beard 