The Things We Take For Granted

This past week I was reminded of how great it is to be a Southerner.  Not that I forget it too often because, let’s be honest, it’s pretty darn great.  We’re rarely cold in winter.  If we are cold, it’s not for long.  People from other parts of the country wouldn’t even call it winter.

Yes, the weather’s nice. The people are nice.  We have funny accents and, unlike northerners, we admit it.  We use several syllables when one would do. The word “oil” is more likely to come out “oy-yul.”  Conversely, we can make a complete sentence into one word. Wheryat?  Y’ontsome?  If we were rude, which we never are, we could tell you that you’re stupid and you’d never even know it, bless your heart.

So you’re asking yourself, what does this have to do with that picture of Palmetto Cheese and what exactly is Palmetto Cheese?  See, the fact that you even have to ask that makes me sad. Because no one should ever spend a day of their life not knowing about Palmetto Cheese.  You should go read about them on their website.  (No, I don’t know them, I just love their product).  It’s only the best pimento cheese ever.  Except what my mother-in-law makes.  Yours is really best MeMe!

As I was saying, this past week one of my pals went to Charleston, SC for the first time ever.  Whaaaaaat?  That alone is enough to sling me into the bad friend category all by itself.  But what’s worse, I am just horrified to tell you, is that it was the first time she’d ever had jalapeño pimento cheese.  I felt just horrible.  I started to ask her if that meant she’d also never had boiled peanuts, but I couldn’t bear to hear the answer.

If I’ve also been a bad friend to you, and you’ve never had jalapeño pimento cheese, please, please do your tastebuds a favor and go get some.  Preferably Palmetto Cheese, which is sin in a bucket.  Now, let’s say you are an unfortunate soul who lives where they don’t have Palmetto Cheese.  <<sigh>>  Well, that’s ok.  G’on down to the store, fuss at your grocer for not carrying said P.C., then get New York sharp cheddar cheese (preferably still in the block), a jar or so of pimentos, a jar or so of pickled jalapeños, and some Dukes mayonnaise.  I’m assuming you have Dukes.  Don’t even tell me if you don’t.  Amazon carries it – I know, I just looked – so there’s no excuse.  I assume you also have coarse ground black pepper. And hot sauce.  Grate the cheese, don’t shred it.  That teeny tiny thin stuff won’t do.  Also, I wasn’t kidding about the New York Sharp cheddar.  Orange.  If you use any other kind, it’s not going to give you that tang that feels like a party is going on at the back of your mouth.  Grate the cheese, pile on chopped jalapeños, pimentos, hot sauce and pepper to your liking.  Then, start mixing in the Dukes with a mixer until you get a nice fluffy consistency. Not too thick, not too thin. Juuuuuust right.  Taste often, just because you won’t be able to stop yourself.

Ta da! You can eat it right out of the bowl, put it on a cracker, a hamburger, a vegetable (health food!), a sandwich, Doritoes… just about anything.

Whew. I feel so much better now. I’ve saved the world.  At least the cheese loving part of it.  😉  Happy snacking!